Tonight

Tonight, I'm really tired and a little bit discouraged.

But do you know what I do when I feel this way? I sneak into your room and I watch you sleep. Sometimes I set on our chair in the dark and just watch the silhouette of your cozy little body rise and fall. Sometimes I stand over you, or stroke your hair, or talk quietly to you and remind you about all the fun things we did today.

Like crawling around in the muddy grass at Union Square until your hands and feet were filthy.

Or going into the fabric district and finding fun summery fabrics and some bright orange thread (which you thought tasted pretty yummy)

Or going to Wendy's with Valerie to get a Frosty (which you also thought was pretty yummy)

Or watching people sing on the street corners

Or passing the peddlers with their art

Or laughing. That was my favorite part of the day. Valerie and I had gone into a fancy paper store just west of Union Square called "Kate's Paperie". You were ready to be done with your stroller and were not being subtle about it. You started in with your high pitched squealing scream. So I danced for you. I ran in place with scissor legs and arms and danced like a fool and you thought it was so funny. You laughed from your belly showing all your fancy teeth, and I laughed too because my heart wanted to pop with love for you.

Yeah, that's what I think about when I feel this way. And then I feel- good.